February 2012: First weeks of kura

February 2012 (entry 1)

I am not sure how normal it is that it is soooo hard to retain the new words I am learning.
I take say, four words of a song I am learning. I say it a few times, I say it many times. I go off and do something else. I come back to it – I’ve forgotten! So I look again at the words, I say them another few times, I try to find little ways of remembering.  Thinking of a rhyming word or associating it with an English word, and so it goes on, its like pulling teeth. I come back to it later – forgotten! I’ve never been one for patience.  Little by little I remember a word, a phrase, I get used to the sound of it. Repetition is the only way that works over and over and over again.  Then there’s some young people in the class- they pick it up and REMEMBER! That makes me feel my age. 

 So slowly I move along, word by word. I am only at the beginning and I feel there are challenges on many levels. I find myself really hoping I can persevere for a whole lot of reasons I will go into more about later. Like I remembered from my few past experiences I love the waiata and seem to do better at learning words when in the context of music.  Music has always been a great passion of mine so no surprise there.

February 2012 (entry 2)

Feeling really blah about it today.
Every day I am trying to memorise words and my retention is so slow. I get it, then the next time I try to say it, its just not there. Is my age, menopause or just my brain not being used to work? Maybe its a bit of all of the above. In any case it of course makes me wonder why I am doing this – what for? Where am I going to use it anyway? Who do I think I am? Its way too early for me to be feeling despondent – I knew I would hit walls but surely not yet… and the group thing. I am so not a group person – I seem to lose myself when in a group. And of course this type of immersion learning IS all about doing it in the group. So can I be part of that? Really? As a Jewish, neurotic, reclusive, menopausal Pakeha woman???? Hang in there!

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